it's been a while

i think it took me a while to find the time and courage to log in and carry on my life again. how do you know that the gal that you lose is the gal of your life? you feel heart broken? sad? lost in life? have no idea what to do anymore when a gal ditch you? feel like killing yourself? or even do stupid stunts? if you are in any of the above categories, i hope that you can stop and look around in life. i am certain that you are being too full of yourself in your world and taking things for granted. i use to feel like that when i broke up with my ex, but when someone close to me past away, i felt worse. seriously honestly speaking i am still in the process of picking up myself. to me, i experience what most around my age have not experience and i guess they are still too 'green' as to say.

look around you, what do you look out for in a gal or a guy? looks? richness? must be taller than you or shorter than you? cannot be too fat? i urge you not to judge a person by the cover and get to know them more by the inner beauty. i have a friend named E. E was single for a while and i was thinking that he was a nice guy as he is quite pitiful when i got to know about his story with his gf. he was two-timed and ditch by his ex-gf and was feeling low on confidence as his ex-gf chose to be with someone who drives, meaning someone who is more capable than him. after a long while seeing him still single i decided to introduce to him a good friend of mine, thinking that they might be a good match in build and size. not long after they are together, they broke up after a few months. the real reason was not made know to the gal, but he did tell me why he wanted to broke up. too tempt with the beautiful world was what i was guessing. in the end, he is still looking for his other half, well maybe he is still yound and all. have all the time in the world to slowly look for another, but i wanted to advice him, that what goes around comes around. he told me once that this gal was nice and all, but the problem lies with her figure. she is 'too small'-hope that you can catch it. well, when i know about that i was thinking to myself, you want cheap, green, good where to find? in relationship what are you truly looking for? in the case of the above i was thinking that he is looking for curvy figure and nothing on the character part. i have to be honest, in the past i think i care about all this as well, have to be nice looking and busty so that i can show off to my friend, but now if you ask me what i really want, i just need someone who knows how to take care of me. cause i am quite a blunder at times, i just need that someone to cover on the part that i am weak at. this is what i am looking for. someone to make me perfect.

someone to make me perfect simply means that when we are together we are complete. so what if she is not the super model that i always wanted to be with, so what if she is not the gal of my life. as long as she complete me i think that it is more important than looks.

last piece of advice, the world is full of lies and deception. you have to be careful in the friends that you make and the people that you hang around with. there are many people with ill intents, but i assure you that there will be people out there with a nice heart and will show you more when you open up to them. well, i learn my lessons the hard way, so i hope that people around me does not have to go through the same path as me to understand what i have been trying to understand for the past 10 years or so.

hope that i did not offend anyone. the above was use as an example to share what i think. i agree that what i think may not be correct and that people might disagree with me, if that is the case i hope that you will not carry on reading the post, it is meant for people who shares my thoughts.

signing off,
shawn
P.S: it's going to take a while again before i come back