it's been a while

i think it took me a while to find the time and courage to log in and carry on my life again. how do you know that the gal that you lose is the gal of your life? you feel heart broken? sad? lost in life? have no idea what to do anymore when a gal ditch you? feel like killing yourself? or even do stupid stunts? if you are in any of the above categories, i hope that you can stop and look around in life. i am certain that you are being too full of yourself in your world and taking things for granted. i use to feel like that when i broke up with my ex, but when someone close to me past away, i felt worse. seriously honestly speaking i am still in the process of picking up myself. to me, i experience what most around my age have not experience and i guess they are still too 'green' as to say.

look around you, what do you look out for in a gal or a guy? looks? richness? must be taller than you or shorter than you? cannot be too fat? i urge you not to judge a person by the cover and get to know them more by the inner beauty. i have a friend named E. E was single for a while and i was thinking that he was a nice guy as he is quite pitiful when i got to know about his story with his gf. he was two-timed and ditch by his ex-gf and was feeling low on confidence as his ex-gf chose to be with someone who drives, meaning someone who is more capable than him. after a long while seeing him still single i decided to introduce to him a good friend of mine, thinking that they might be a good match in build and size. not long after they are together, they broke up after a few months. the real reason was not made know to the gal, but he did tell me why he wanted to broke up. too tempt with the beautiful world was what i was guessing. in the end, he is still looking for his other half, well maybe he is still yound and all. have all the time in the world to slowly look for another, but i wanted to advice him, that what goes around comes around. he told me once that this gal was nice and all, but the problem lies with her figure. she is 'too small'-hope that you can catch it. well, when i know about that i was thinking to myself, you want cheap, green, good where to find? in relationship what are you truly looking for? in the case of the above i was thinking that he is looking for curvy figure and nothing on the character part. i have to be honest, in the past i think i care about all this as well, have to be nice looking and busty so that i can show off to my friend, but now if you ask me what i really want, i just need someone who knows how to take care of me. cause i am quite a blunder at times, i just need that someone to cover on the part that i am weak at. this is what i am looking for. someone to make me perfect.

someone to make me perfect simply means that when we are together we are complete. so what if she is not the super model that i always wanted to be with, so what if she is not the gal of my life. as long as she complete me i think that it is more important than looks.

last piece of advice, the world is full of lies and deception. you have to be careful in the friends that you make and the people that you hang around with. there are many people with ill intents, but i assure you that there will be people out there with a nice heart and will show you more when you open up to them. well, i learn my lessons the hard way, so i hope that people around me does not have to go through the same path as me to understand what i have been trying to understand for the past 10 years or so.

hope that i did not offend anyone. the above was use as an example to share what i think. i agree that what i think may not be correct and that people might disagree with me, if that is the case i hope that you will not carry on reading the post, it is meant for people who shares my thoughts.

signing off,
shawn
P.S: it's going to take a while again before i come back

well, let's move on to the guys .. :)

ok this post will be mainly on guys so gals might have a better understanding..

well, let start with the types of guys i know. there are the persistent, sly, confident, shy, die die must try kind and also the don't dare to approach kind.

i think i belong to both the shy and die die must try de. for one i am shy when making new friends, but when i know that there is this one gal that i like, i will approach her and ask her whether will she be willing to accept me no matter what. somehow when i know that my feelings are positive towards this person, i will let her know my feelings even knowing that i might get rejected in the end. people around me ask me why, i tell them if you never ask you will never know. why bother about what others tell you ?? even if they are close with the one that you love, why give up when they tell you too .. don't you even for one second stop and think that they might like the person that you like as well, and they are asking you to give up so that they have one competitor left ? this are the sly kind, and i have met one before, they told this friend of mine that he does not like this gal and will never go for her, but in the end, he got together with that gal. my friend was so heart broken. and somehow i realise that gals have a tentency to go for this kind of guys. at times i just wanna tell them to open up their eyes and see instead going with their feelings. this are the guys that will change their attitude towards you after a long period of time being together with you. so please be careful.

other than that there are this group that are shy and don't dare to even try kind. well, i can say that they eventually do after a long long period of time. but all i want to say is that they might have miss the window of opportunity. there is this friend of mine, that always drag and drag. i dunno why they always do what they did, but i wanted to tell them so much that if there is this person that are willing to go out with you often and always come looking for you when she is troubled, and if at the same time you have the right feelings for her, pls try. don't ever think that trying means that you might lose a friend. yes there is a chance that you might lose one, but think of it this way, there is a chance that you can get a companion to share your life with. which is more important ??

well, i am sleepy.. hope to post soon ..

re: interesting thoughts from some of my friends .. :)

ok well, from all that i can gather.. it's not the outer that matters the most. i did not say that it does not matter, to a certain extent it does, but not totally. what i am trying to say is that gals does not judge guys base on only looks. the inner matters a lot too. i should say that the inner matters the most. look at it this way, if there are two guys where one have a better looks and is more wealthy than the other going after the same gal, who do you think the gal will choose ?? seriously, gals who are not that mature might go for the one with looks and wealth. on the other hand, if that gal is mature enough, she might choose over the guy with a better inner character.

just based on my own experience, please dun quote me, i know quite a number of gals that choose based on inner rather than physically attributes. like for me, people who know me will know that i dun have the looks and the wealth, but the gals that choose to be with me choose me for my inner character. on the other hand, something to note, gals with different character choose guys with different kinds of character. there are no good or bad character, you just have to choose the right person who appreciate your inner character.

just be yourself if you want to find the correct, if you always wanted to put on a mask when dealing with people, you will never be able to find the gal that best suit you.

that's all folks. if you have problems or queries on relationship related matters you can drop me a sms .. just hope to know more friends and also to share experiences. stay tuned .. !!

interesting thoughts..

well, this posts are mainly for guys. do you know how girls choose their partner ??

well, hope that the first line caught your attention. let start all over again, do you what girls like about the other partner. i may not be correct, or always true but i can say that it does not have anything with your status or looks. somehow it just the feeling that you give the other person. not surprising right, some are even thinking that i am talking crap, but think carefully when i say feeling what i mean ?? hmmm , food for thoughts ??

that all for today.. after all i posted 2 new posts, well we shall look at this at another point of view next time.. till than .. :)

back to my first post :)

well, honestly even for me i have no explanation for all the actions that people choose to do when they are heart broken, but there is a fix pattern, they just want to forget about some certain things and hope that they can move on in life. however i realize these sort of actions are not the correct ways of doing things. some may say that there is nothing wrong with their own actions, but think of it this way, you are causing harm to the people around you that cared. dun have to look too far to find the people that cared for you, as long as you are a son to a mother, your mom will cared for you irregardless of what happened to you. when you drink and got wasted away, when you got home, the one that open the door for you and help you change out of your smelly clothes is your parents. do you realize what you are missing when you are hurting yourself in a way or another. there was once when my mom help to drag me into the house when i am drunk. i can still remember the look on her face till today. i am so sad that unknowingly i hurt the other person that means the most to me and that is my mom. so for people that intend to get wasted in the future, please think about it before you decide on whether you want to get wasted.

hmmm .. actions lead to consequences. why not use the time you have to do something more useful?? caring for the less fortunate, or help out in whatever you can at home. guys, how long have it been since you last clean your own cabinet?? you own bed or your own drawer?? why not do all this to help clear your mom loads rather than getting yourself wasted and waste another day when you have a hang over the next day ? sometimes i just dun get it .. -_-"

how to explain your actions ..

well, sorry for the long days of no new blogs, been busy with work :(

anyway, a simple test will show that most people have the same kind of reaction when it comes to this kind of issue. simply put, how do most people overcome this issue is to avoid the problems on hand. honestly even i also made the same mistakes in the past. i will choose to do more duty and even not going home and avoiding the places that we have been to before. why?? cause i just dun want to be reminded of the memories of me and her.

have anyone ever thought instead of thinking that breaking up is a problem or an issue, why not think there it is an end to a problem. when you encounter problems in your relationship and it leads to a break up, i think it put an end to the problem and not a problems itself. i agree that it might be hurtful, it might be painful, but think of it in a another way, it end the suffering of the other party, you might have been hurting her/him when you are in this relationship with him/her. i cannot say anything from a girl's point of view cause i am after all a guy, but i can say that from a neutral party point of view, sometime when i see my friends having problems in their relationship, i would advice them to let go. the highest level of love is not to hold the person you love in your arms, it is to know when to let go when the time have come. till date i am still looking for the one that can always support me in whatever i do to be there when i needed her, but honestly there is no such a person there, and you have to learn that this is a fact. most couple are mostly working adults, it is impossible for the other party to be always waiting for you, even if there is, how long will the other party be willing to wait and wait ??

hmm, guess that is all for today's food for though. good night .. :)